As a young boy of ten, I discovered crossdressing. A case can be made that crossdressing for a transgender individual is an escape mechanism from an undesired reality to an alternate reality. While children do often escape into their own make-believe worlds, they do so as a form of play. My crossdressing was not play. There were times I wanted it to be just a game. However, I always knew it was something different than a game. Several years later I read a news story about a new website called Second Life. It wmyas an online virtual reality community and on the game players could be whomever these chose to be. It would be a few years later when I finally decided I want to give the game a try. However I had forgotten the name of the game so I had to do more of a generic Google search. I did find the link to Second Life. However, in the process I discovered a link to a similar game — Red Light Center. I checked out their website and decided for a variety of reasons to join their community rather than Second Life.
I completed my signup and profile. I opted to use my preferred name of Veronica but I provided the correct birthday and selected the Transgender Female box. One reason I had chosed Red Light Center over Second Life is that it presented itself as a more adult community and because they seemed more welcoming of transgender individuals. For the first two weeks I played the game with their free membership. However this kept me from exploring the more adult aspects of the game so I finally upgraded to the VIP membership. There are several benefits to being VIP, for the purposes of this post, the relevant benefits were two — I could now get naked and I could now have sex. The first time I chosed to get naked on the game I took no pleasure in seeing I had a penis I had basically already known this but seeing it was still disappointing. Not long after I went VIP I bought myself a new skin, the skin of a female.
Another reason I had chosed Red Light Center was that it offered income opportunities. I enrolled in their working girl program. ‘Working girl’ is the term they used for prostitute. I began earning revenue on the game by offering men on the game sex for a fee. As I originally did not do very well as a working girl, I began to wonder if it had anything to so with my profile which listed me as a sixty-ish transgender woman. I had changed my skin and as the tagline for the game is ‘Be Who You Want To Be.’ I changed my profile gender to female and changed my age to early thirties. I could no longer use my own pictures as a thirty year old woman so I found some images on line of a woman and used them on my profile. Within two months of signing up for the game, I was playing it as a woman half my age. Now some might suggest this was simply wrong. However I was not impersonating a woman to take advantage of men. I was playing the game consistent with their rules which allowed men to play as women, women to play as men, and anyone to play as fairies, werewolfs or vampires.
I will not go into the transitional nature of my life on Red Light Center. Sometimes I played as myself. Sometimes as my younger self. I did leave the working girl profession and began making my income doing deco work — using my computer skills to decorated homes and clubs on the game. I found this to be a more satisfying use of my time on the game and I focused on this business aspect of the game for a couple of years. I had by this time upgraded to a UVIP membership which meant I could have five profiles on the game. In other words, I could be up to five totally different people on the game.
One night I took a night off from my deco work which I did as myself — a sixty-ish transgender woman — and signed onto the game using one of my other profiles. That night I went to one of my favorite clubs. I had been there for about an hour and was even about ready to lop off when I noticed a flashing message on my text box. A guy name Lucas was sending me a message. It was not unlike most I recieved. “Hello” (Hello.) “How are you tonight? (Well enough ty. HRU?) “Good to hear. I am doing fine.” And then he became a bit bolder and said, “You are beautiful.” When one is on the game, this compliment can be confusing — Does he mean my avatar is beautiful or that the he finds the girl pictured on my profile as beautiful? He added, “I love the red dress.” I was not wearing a red dress that night on the game so I knew he was referring to my profile pictures. He asked me for a dance and we danced a few songs but as I mentioned I had been about ready to log off and so we did not dance long before we said good night.
The next time I visited my profile page I saw he had sent me an email where is expressed an interest in spending an evening together, ie a date. That was six months ago and in three months Lucas and I are getting married on the game. Over the last six months it is not unlikely that we have spent over 200 hours with each other on the game. We have also exchanged dozens of emails. He is a married man living fifteen hundreds miles from me. He is twice the age of Roni who is twenty seven. Roni is the woman in the red dress, the woman who originally prompted him to send me a text message. He does not know that I am not that woman. However over the last six months he has come to know me for who I am. We are both on the game to escape a life not entirely to our liking and both of us know our relationship will never go beyond the constraints of the game.
Through our conversations I have come to know Lucas and Lucas has come to know Roni. I am not saying we have not had our fights as any couple does, but we have fallen in love. Without question, I know Lucas is attracted to the Roni pictured on my profile but that is not why he has chosed to spend hours and hours of his time on the game with me. She is not who he will marry in three months. He will marry the Roni he had come to know through our emails and our on-game conversation. Just as I will not be the bride to some man who is already married and living 1500 miles away. I am marrying the man I know on the game.
I am now in the process of planning our wedding. We have found a wedding park for the wedding that we both love. I also need to hire a justice of the peace, a DJ for the wedding music and recpetion and a photographer. I have not yet started looking for a wedding dress and I also need to ask three of my friends to be my bridesmaids. Both Lucas and I are wearing engagement rings and when we marry we will have matching wedding bands. We have agreed on a last name so after we are pronouced man and wife we will both be changing our profile names. We will be getting ourselves a home although we may elect to use one of the ones we each already own. As a married couple, I hope to spend more time with Lucas in our home and less time out at the clubs dancing.
There may be some who see our marriage as one aspect of a game and based on lies on my part and cheating on his part. However our love is real. It is unlikely I will ever walk down the aisle as a transgender woman who is just a few years from seventy years old. Maybe I will. However for me I know Lucas loves who I am. He loves who he has come to know on the game. He loves the soul of who I am. Just as I feel the same for him. Maybe it is wrong. Maybe it is just virtual reality. But I know why he asked me to marry him and why I said Yes. And our wedding day will be one of the happiest days of my life.